Be careful what you pray for!

 So, I haven't taken the time to do much lately but spur of the moment has prompted me to tell you all about being 'Careful of what you pray for!' Because God really listens!

A number of years ago I when I first moved to GA I began to attend a local Pentecostal church. This church was of my choosing and not of the Catholic religion which I had been raised. (Not that this has anything to do with the story!) But the church did have many outreach programs and opportunities to serve.

After having been there a while and joining not only the church but the choir and drama productions, I decided to try out the womens' ministries. Being too old for the youth group and feeling too young for this group, I was just trying to find a place to learn. Well did I learn!

This unit study was over a book referring to a patchwork of prayer. The book taught several types of prayer such as intercessory, fervent and ummm, transitional?? -Oh I forget now! Either way I learned a lot at the time. We also took the time to make prayer squares for a quilt to be auctioned off as a fundraiser for  the ministry. This was something I was passionate about and decided to take it further on my own and make an actual quilt. I hand quilted it with each of the types of prayer. This I had decided to gift at the annual womens' ministry White elephant Christmas party.

Well in the mean time I had really begun to struggle with the kind of dates I had been attracting. I wanted a real guy who I might want to stick around. I had dreamed about that knight in shining armor and my wedding day since I was little and I figured it was time (heaven forbid we dated for years and like many girls I didn't want to be old and then get married.  I was feeling ready to marry. (Ummm, I was only 19!)

None-the-less the bible study had prompted some new types of prayer. God had renewed my thought process! So I began to pray. One night driving home from that study I prayed not for what I wanted in a husband but what God wanted for me! Here's where I stress for you to be careful what you pray for! Because when I began to pray that, it must have been exactly what God needed to hear from me. That my heart was no longer selfish for what I wanted but ready for what God had in store for me...what he KNEW I needed.

As I continued to pray this weekly, monthly and genuinely ...he prepared not only me but my soon to be husband-unknowingly! And little did I know exactly what I was in for! You see for so long I was praying and listing that tall, dark, handsome man with features that I thought I needed. Much to my surprise that was not it at all.

Some time later a friend of mine from church decided to set me up on a blind date. I reluctantly agreed, only after I got to see a picture! My prayer then was, Lord show me somehow if this is who I was praying for, having left all I thought I wanted behind and trusting him. (The funny thing about this situation is that my now husband and I had hung out with the same circle of friends yet had never met....Only in HIS time!)

We met at the local Chili's (separately - in such case that the date was awful!) He rode his chopper (his only mode of transportation....I turned up my snobby nose! Dressed in a black Harley T,blue jeans and boots (I didn't ever wear black at the time) we had a brief intro then went in and sat down. One of the very first things I said was.."I don't date guys with long hair". Hey at least he knew where I stood! Needless to say, he came over with a very short hair cut 3 weeks later! I knew I was in trouble then!

Long story short, I knew that God had sent me this man. It wasn't a butterflies or lust at first sight but I knew that I had gotten exactly what I had prayed for. Even today the butterflies are come and go. which I am glad for because I think that it helps us to know it is not always easy and a relationship is not handed to you. It requires work.

Finally,when I felt threatened by his overwhelming interest (remember the sudden haircut!) after only a few short months I tried to get rid of him (I tease and say that that was the only time he brought me flowers!) he wouldn't let me run and I knew he was sticking around. I was scared. I couldn't believe it! To this day I am thankful for what God has sent to me. It hasn't always been ice cream with sprinkles...matter of fact it hasn't always even been creamy! But it was exactly what God new would stand the test of time! We work well together. When I am down he balances me out. When I am ill and frustrated with the children....he is cool and level headed. And vice-versa! I am very thankful for this.

If I had to list everything at that time that I wanted in a man, he is nothing that I thought that I had wanted but everything that God knew I needed. I love him and he loves me. Marriage is work and we are making it work. It's not all bells and whistles. It's not always filled with conversation. It's not always movie-esque. BUT we make it work because we love each other and are willing to listen to what God has for us.

So, lesson learned. Be careful what you pray for. God really does listen and he will give you the deepest desires of your heart. Pray from your heart and pour out your soul. It will be fed if you are willing to receive (regardless of your situation)!

It's just a vacation!

     My husband comes to me just 2 days ago and tells me that he has the last week of July off, Great!! You see I have been trying to get him to take some time off and do a family vacation for quite some time now to no avail. I tend to consider my self his second wife, as his first wifes' name is, Job!! So for him to say that he has scheduled it and officially taken it off is nothing short of amazing! He wants to FINALLY go to the beach (I have also been trying to get him to do this for the last 5 years!) I am ecstatic!!

    Thus begins my part. I get to plan!! Sounds easy enough, except for the fact that I have never officially planned a family vacation. So I jump in head first, this can't be that hard! Huh, let me rephrase that first part. I G E T to plan! Man, who knew that it could be this difficult. I have so many choices. Rather, maybe I have given myself too many. 

Should we go to the Gulf or the Atlantic?

Florida or stay in Georgia?

What destination? St. Augustine, Fort Walton, Destin, Panama City, Fernandina beach/Amelia Island, St. Simons, Tybee.......The options are endless!

What to rent? Condo/Hotel/Suite

    I have been searching for about 3 days. One of which I spent the greater part of the day on the computer, searching. To my displeasure I have also found that every one thinks that because you are traveling with 7 bodies you need 7 beds. On the contrary... that is not so.  Our 3 girls could easily share one bed, they do at home even though they each have their own bed!  I also found that a hotel wants to split you up between two rooms. It's a FAMILY vacation. That kind of defeats the purpose of taking a family vacation. Don't you think??? I have begun to feel that they hear bigger family and then instantly see dollar signs! So at this point, I figure that my only option is to lie and tell them I have 2 kids and smuggle the rest in upon arrival. Hoping they give us a room around back! Honesty seems to be biting me in the butt! Geez!

    So I finally decided, to take some of the stress off, I would start by choosing two Gulf side destinations and two Atlantic side destinations and begin looking there. Not a bad start. Until I found out that to go right now it will be a house payment or more to stay somewhere for a little less than a week. WOW!! Seriously! So frustrated and I really haven't even started. Well, at this point I am a bit glazed over. So for now I will keep searching and praying that something will come our way. I have 2 weeks....wish me luck! HA!

AND I think after all this I need a vacation!

Old?

      So, I went shopping to actually buy something for myself today...and my oldest Maesyn came along. As I tried things on she kept telling me, "Ya Mom,  I like that ...it looks... mom-like!" Uh!! What does that mean???? Am I really getting that old? You see I am a very classic dresser. I stay away from the trends and just wear the 'classic' styles...mostly things that don't make me stand out too much. Yet still allow me to look presentable!
      Maesyn, on the other hand is very flashy. Ailey likes to say 'Why do you always have to look so fancy??'. No, really, Maesyn is always dressed to the hilt complete with earrings, jewelry, shoes (lately out of my closet!) and perfume. We could be going to the gym and she would do this! She also likes to keep up with the trends, which is so very not me....matter of fact, it drives me crazy! We are so opposite in this area! I just can't stand the new trends. I am not sure if this is due to the fact that I spent most of my formative years in the 80's or what, but high tops, leggings and loud colors MAKE ME SICK!! She always wants to know if I like something on her. I leave it with this 'I don't have to wear it, if you like it then that's fine'.  Ewww, some of the stuff looks hideous, good on her though I must admit!! Just not my thing and of course it always has to be within reason for me to o.k it for purchase! Even then we will get it home and she has to mix and match it and make it her own! Stylin' girl I tell you! You should see her when she makes up a new outfit, she'll come prancing...yes, prancing into my room for approval. "Mom, how does this look, you like it?" (with a spin and a fluff of the hair) I just smile and shake my head...what a diva! Good thing I have Ailey, she is a classic dresser like her Mama! Might keep me sane! I suppose I really know I am getting old when a young guy at the grocery store (old enough to buy beer) called me Ma'am!! <smirk/smile>LOL! Hmmm, old??

Where has the time gone??

Wow, just to think that my little guy will be 7 months in just a couple days amazes me. It seems like just yesterday we put our 'Windsor Way' house on the market , Shaun lost his job and then we found out we were expecting him. All in just a couple weeks of each other, left us wondering what to do. Life has surely passed us by. Just 7 months ago today we purchased a new home, moved in and then gave birth to Ryersen, after just one night in the new house. None of the other kids even stayed in the house until after we came home from the hospital. Ryersen is now almost crawling, laughing and babbling like crazy. He is so rotten! He is held or attended to all of the time. Which is not a hard thing to do in our house. You figure when there are 6 other people to hold or attend to you in some way and each one does it for a mere hour (intermittently) during our day. That is 6 hours of his day completely paid attention to. Then the other few hours he is sleeping! Never a dull moment for him!
 Lately I have been really considering whether or not another one will be in our future. Up until this point when I was asked 'are you done yet?' I said confidently, ' No'. I have really felt as though we have depended on God to manage that for us. I have never even considered any contraception. I wasn't sure if it was even the right path for us. Until now. One more would be fantastic. Everyone in the house is all for it, except for my body. I am so tired this go 'round, not just a regular tired an exhaustive tired. After Ryersen was born, I was really concerned that my body just couldn't survive another pregnancy. It is so aggravating to not be able to be there for my children..I feel sick. As time wears on I hope that things will become clear. I hope this exhaustiveness will resolve itself and we can make and honest decision on whether to move onto a new chapter of our life. When there will be no more little ones in our future...kind of a sad thought for me. But happy in that we will be beginning what will be our forever family.

Sweet love

Just wanted to take the moment to remember....
I was sitting here in the bed having just 'rescued' the baby from his dismay, when I received the best love ever. You see we have been fighting the plague here at the house. Starting with Rhyner, then Ryersen, moving to myself, then Daddy...wait it's Lylah's turn and the last man standing is Ailey! Pray for her, it'll be a God send if she doesn't get it! That said, poor Ryersen has been a bit neglected and pushed off on his schedule. This due to all the CLEAN UP which has had to done. Between catch up from the day I was down, to scoop up from what ends up down...on the floor!! Not that I wanted to remember that but what I did want to remember is this. As I rescued the baby, calmed him and readied him to nurse...he gazed at me. His gaze was waiting for my eye contact and when I did he just stared looking back and forth between my eyes. But not just looking, loving. It was wonderful, amazing that with no words he told me 'I love you mom, I just needed to be with you'. As his gaze moved from my eyes and to my mouth I smiled at him and he smiled back the sweetest smile. It was almost as if he was assuring that he was ok and had what he needed. It was just the sweetest love amidst all the turmoil in the house....oh dear Lylah just, eh em', yah she's still sick!!!

We're allright

   We had the honor tonight of being guests at a new friends home for dinner. Might I say a lovely dinner it was too! We have only met and spoken to this family once but have seen them once prior to that. You see for us it isn't often we run into a family who has more than 3 kids; let alone 4 or more. This family stood out to us from the beginning, it was only after they spotted us and decided to introduce themselves did I realize that they may have wanted to meet us just as much as we wanted to meet them.
   After talking to them and finding that we had quite a bit in common we proceeded to exchange numbers. Only to be invited to dinner the very next weekend; excitedly we accepted. Not knowing what to expect, we showed up with dessert in hand, anticipating a great time. Who knew that it would be much more than that.
   Arriving a bit late (as is our staple) we were wisked into the midst of excited children welcoming us at the door as the wonderful aroma of dinner passed. Upon entering we found a beautiful home, a bit cluttered with the things left un-done from the days activities.(Only a bit too much like us)  As dinner commenced there was plenty of conversation. Seemingly everything was discussed from housework to hunting thus often interrupted by a little one....needing something (as is common in our home). The children all ran about enjoying the company, my husband seemed to feel rather at home as well.
    As the night proceeded it was time to nurse the baby. I was invited to the office for some privacy, this after much apology for the untidy piles of clothes I was to ignore on the floor. And more apology for embarrassment of the un-tidyness. Smiling I said 'No,no it's ok, really' (little did she know I was really serious) If she only knew what our house went thorough on a daily basis...and I have an older helper to get things done!!
   The rest of the night was filled with some very heart felt discussions between the wife and I. Nothing deep, just honest, sincere and humble. This is also the way that I would describe her as well. This is the most grateful person I have met in a long time and I am so proud to be forming a friendship. There is so much to be learned from one another here. The things that I am failing at she is succeeding and likewise the things she feels a failure at I am accomplishing. This could be a very healthy connection for the both of us. You see, there are friends that are so much like you that it is uncanny and they are just a joy to have around, you just 'get' one another. Then there are friends who aren't like you. But these are the ones that inherently help you to figure out you...and this is one of those!!
    I really left her home feeling peaceful, maybe even a bit re-charged. On the flip side, I also felt that I left this dinner date feeling as though I may have made her feel a bit inadequate. Maybe a bit dis-organized...I hope that is not so because that was not the intention. I am just at a different point in my life because my kiddos are a bit older. I know for sure she will be there one day too. She has all the right makings! But as for me, to say it best, I was so glad to have met her and her wonderfully normal family. I have finally met a family that makes me feel that it is really ok to just be us. <sniff, sigh>
  In the end we discovered that they have kids that act like kids (just like us), they are human and there is only so much time in a day (just like us), they have flaws they are not afraid to acknowledge (just like us), they are just trying to figure life out and do what is best for their family, using what may work for another family and trying it on for themselves (just like us). I remember so well when I felt so inadequate, when I felt as every other Mom/large family had it together and I was just fighting to keep my head above water. It was good to use what worked for others to advance my own family but I felt so inferior. By meeting this wonderful family I have discovered a lot about my self and maybe I was wrong earlier when I said that we are very different, I think we are all too much the same. I see myself in her (albeit we are almost the same age). I see when I wanted to be 'that' family. I see the compassion, love and gratefulness I posses. Wow, who knew that one night with one family could have been so good to me. God knows what he is doing!  We are not odd, we do not have to conform and we have been there.... Yep, we're allright!! (Just like them, LOL!)

Is your bed made?

On a regular basis I ask the question, Is your bed made?? You see every morning the children are supposed to follow a morning routine within their responsibility packs (affectionately called 'R' packs). In which they have an ordered routine to make their bed, get dressed, brush hair/teeth and tidy anything out of place before coming to breakfast. Well it seems lately that the 'R' packs have a new card. It reads; go play with your toys and make the biggest mess possible before starting your routine, that way it takes all morning to clean up and complete the tasks which are supposed to be accomplished. Therefore totally omitting the time allotted for school. Insert here...Is your bed made??
I have had some serious sleep issues since our fifth child has come along thus making it difficult for me to crawl out of bed at a reasonable time in the morning. I usually prefer to get up before the kids, so I can be ready to supervise and keep the littler ones on task. You see our last has reflux and in the process of getting that under control it has really messed with any sort of sleep/wake thing he should have for a 6 month old. Let's just say he wants to eat every hour...it makes him feel better. We are getting better at a schedule now that he isn't erping everything up, every time he eats!
That said, I wake up but my body keeps telling me 'NOOOOO please don't make me get up!' So by the time I finally crawl out of bed, my crew is up in full force. As usual I make my bed and head off into their rooms. Lately to find them, UH! Where else but the playroom! So I ask "Are your beds made?" NEVER-they are NEVER made! So in starts the morning to which we are cleaning instead of schooling once again!
 Today was sheet day. Ya know, take off the dirty ones and put new ones on. This is always a fiasco. All the sheets come off but no-one seems to be able to get them back on (no blame here. They do have bunks and a 4 yr old is on the bottom) They throw everything into this huge heap in the middle of their room. The heap includes...pillows,toys, stuffed animals,sheets,books-you name it! Well, this time I had to wash my eldests comforter. Courtesy of her brother who got liquid foundation all over it the day prior..that is a whole other story! All over him, the bed, the shams, his clothes...I have pictures!
Sheet exchange- well, it turned into an all day affair. The little girls comforters got mixed up. One apparently had a pee spot from where her brothers' diaper had leaked. So no-one knew which one it was (they all have matching comforters) SO, I had to wash them all! Yea! More work for me! Then while I was trying to get the sheets changed on the boys beds, my little girls (left un-supervised, are jumping off the top bunk into their 'heap' of sheets...having a grand ole' time mind you!!) So between trying to change the sheets and picking up the treasure trove of crap they had stashed in their beds, NOTHING else productive got accomplished today! Sigh....One day we will get everything back on track and I will hear "Yes Mommy, our beds are made!"